The Green- Eyed Momster

By -

Authors Note: I wrote this post over a week ago. I sat on it, started writing a completely different and unrelated post because I initially felt this was just too silly and nobody would take me seriously, or worse yet, further agree that my feelings were ridiculous and be dismissive. However after rereading my own words I felt a therapeutic release to get my feelings and thoughts out to the world (and I'm sure my therapist would agree.) There is absolutely another mom out there who thinks like I did, a simple Google search of "my baby is ____ months old and still not____" or "my baby is doing xyz, is this normal?" shows this. We all want the best for our babies, and I want moms to know that  YOUR BABY IS FINE, 99% of the time. If you have serious concerns that something IS NOT right with your baby, or they are not meeting milestones at all/ well after their peers, please consult your pediatrician or reach out to your state/ county Early Intervention Program. These services can put you in touch with occupational therapists, speech pathologists, and other specialists that can more accurately determine if your child needs extra help. I'll list a few local contacts below.

Have you ever played Taboo?

Its a favorite of my family's, and ultimately people hate playing against us because we can get incredibly competitive. Our strategy is to really know your partner and give clues you know only THEY will get, even if they're the ONLY person who will get it. It always works, we always win. But this isn't about the game, its about something moms do to ourselves that's incredibly damaging, taboo, and counterproductive; yet I think we've all fallen prey to it at some point, and that's milestone jealousy, baby jealousy, whatever you want to call it. My husband thinks I'm crazy for it, but my very real anxiety sometimes causes me to doubt if I'm doing the right things to encourage my baby's development. The proverbial green- eyed monster makes me consciously and subconsciously pit my princess to all the other cute lil babies all over my timelines (social media definitely is a root cause of this,) and even with me celebrating her accomplishments I wonder "Is she on track?" "Should I consider her ADJUSTED age since she was early? It was barely 3 weeks, does that even MATTER?" "Am I being as ridiculous as my husband says I am?" Am I? Yes. Maybe. Are these thoughts unfounded? Most likely. Is my baby where she needs to be? Again, more than likely.


Being a new mom makes life a lot like the game of Taboo. A lot of guessing from a partner (your little one) who cant say much, with people all in your ear also making terrible guesses. But ultimately, you gotta trust your partner will give you the right clues to get it right. My daughter is happy and healthy. She's laid back and even tempered. Most parents would be pleased. I was reading the blog for Can Do Kiddo (a YouTube channel I occasionally watch) and the mom talks about her own insecurities with her baby- and shes an occupational therapist. She also gave smaller, but equally important milestones to look for and clue you that the big, Facebook post worthy milestone is coming. Reading this eased my overactive mind and reassured I'm doing the best for my baby girl, and she'll do what she wants when she's good and ready. Babies are not one age fits all, and there's such a wide range of normal. My 8 month old sleeps through the night beautifully, but I'm sure there's a mama tearing her hair out because her 14 month old is up every 2.5 hours. So she can't crawl yet, but she's well on her way. Jealousy, be gone.


[EDITED TO ADD: Nugget literally started doing a very funky, Lieutenant Dan- style Army crawl the DAY AFTER I originally wrote this post. As most babies do, she needs a little incentive to start, which is usually my phone or the remote control. Now I have to constantly watch her because she's liable to launch herself off the bed.]

Have you worried about your babies development? Did you ever feel the green- eyed monster of milestone jealousy? How did you overcome it? Leave your comments and lets chat about it!

Further resources:
Prince George's County Infants and Toddlers 301-925-6627
Montgomery County (MD) Infants and Toddlers 240-777-3997
State of Maryland (Links to all 23 MD counties and the City of Baltimore)
District of Columbia- Strong Start DC
Central Directory for DC Strong Start

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Rules of Retail

By -
Image
I've worked in retail since I was 17. It started off as an easy summer gig. Fast forward to last January. I had been applying to various design jobs following my graduation in December. One by one each opening was filled, and I wasn't the one filling it. Not wanting to be a freeloader to my parents, and wanting to prove myself not lazy to my boyfriend, I relented and picked up two retail jobs. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics , the majority of new jobs created come the retail industry. In August alone 44,000 of the 169,000 jobs created were in retail. That's 26%! Unfortunately, most people lose their humanity when they come to shop. In my experience, department stores have it the worse. I work both at a department store and a mid range boutique chain and I leave the department store hating life every night I work there. Customers often take advantage of the cliche "the customer is always right", then wonder why the cashier is rude. So to save us fro...
Read more

Getting "Me" Back

By -
According to my husband, I'm going through a quarter- life crisis. (2 years early). I'm having problems finding solace in where my career and work life are heading, and where I want it to be. I don't remember if I discussed it here, but back around my birthday in October I forfeited my only vacation (and the first as a married woman) for a big job interview, that ended up not materializing into the dream job I have been praying for. It left me pretty broken, because I had spent about a month going through the motions, gave up my vacay, and took off work (who were all too happy to put me back on the schedule). It left me broken as a wife because I have a strong sense of marital duty, and while I'm on my way to being a great housewife, its not how I envisioned my life. Much of American society functions off of dual incomes and I didn't see me as being any different. I WANT to pay the mortgage, or at least all of the utilities and shared resources. That's is nowher...
Read more

Pomp and Circumstance

By -
Image
 This post is very seriously delayed. I am proud to announce that after 4 and a half years (9 semesters, countless months, probably over a $100K in tuition and another $50K due in loan interest...) I am a graduate of Philadelphia University (formerly the College of Science and Textiles). This post is late because I have spent every day since last Friday making up for all the lost sleep. Now that I'm refreshed, I can finally update all on my life. This post will also be split. (I've decided to allow my fashion-y things have its own spotlight.) Looking back, this semester was TOUGH. Tough financially (for my dad). Tough socially (the first semester without half my friends on campus, and most of my core girls gone). Tough on my boyfriend (he had a hard time as to why he couldn't visit... one day he'll understand and appreciate.) Tough academically (balancing a 3 day/ 24 hour a week internship and 3 classes.) But by the grace of God I finished on top. My cumulat...
Read more