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When You Need Help Being "Mommy"

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So I love reading Humans of New York Posts. This one floated across my timeline a while back and had me shook. It was basically my maternity leave. There are several beautiful Black Queens that I'm "framily" with who are all getting ready to bring their beautiful melanated princesses and princes into the world. A few others have newborns very well experiencing the Fourth Trimester . My advice to you: don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. So, I'm a Type AB person with high functioning anxiety. Basically, a hot mess, but I make it look good. And that's how I existed for nine months of pregnancy, and three months postpartum. Inside I was a wreck, a tumultuous ball of shot nerves, worry, guilt, breastmilk and caffeine. I would literally stay up all day till 5 am watching "I Love Lucy", hovering over my daughters Rock n Play, W A I T I N G for her to stir, or cry, or pee; or mad that my husband's useless nipple self was upstairs enjoyin