Sew Thus is Life...

I was going to make up some kitschy  title but its 2 am and my brain isn't working that hard after the rough night I had. But as I sit here in my dark (save for Christmas lights) house, I do have quite a bit to feel blessed for, despite all my self loathing I've been in lately. After an unfortunate text exchange and crying session. I washed a load of sheets and coming up from the basement realized how warm, cozy and pretty all the lights I had plugged in and blinking really were (all you Christmas lights haters can kick rocks. they're awesome). Its my first Christmas in the new house and hubby and I really have managed to make it look like a home that's been lived in for 6 years, not 6 months. Its warm and inviting (so inviting people tend to pass out and not want to leave, but it's a peeve I'm working on :-P). I have all my gifts wrapped and ready and I'm excited for the family dinner with his parents tonight and my family tomorrow on Christmas Day, even as

According to my husband, I'm going through a quarter- life crisis. (2 years early). I'm having problems finding solace in where my career and work life are heading, and where I want it to be. I don't remember if I discussed it here, but back around my birthday in October I forfeited my only vacation (and the first as a married woman) for a big job interview, that ended up not materializing into the dream job I have been praying for. It left me pretty broken, because I had spent about a month going through the motions, gave up my vacay, and took off work (who were all too happy to put me back on the schedule). It left me broken as a wife because I have a strong sense of marital duty, and while I'm on my way to being a great housewife, its not how I envisioned my life. Much of American society functions off of dual incomes and I didn't see me as being any different. I WANT to pay the mortgage, or at least all of the utilities and shared resources. That's is nowher