Sew Thus is Life...

So I love reading Humans of New York Posts. This one floated across my timeline a while back and had me shook. It was basically my maternity leave. There are several beautiful Black Queens that I'm "framily" with who are all getting ready to bring their beautiful melanated princesses and princes into the world. A few others have newborns very well experiencing the Fourth Trimester . My advice to you: don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. So, I'm a Type AB person with high functioning anxiety. Basically, a hot mess, but I make it look good. And that's how I existed for nine months of pregnancy, and three months postpartum. Inside I was a wreck, a tumultuous ball of shot nerves, worry, guilt, breastmilk and caffeine. I would literally stay up all day till 5 am watching "I Love Lucy", hovering over my daughters Rock n Play, W A I T I N G for her to stir, or cry, or pee; or mad that my husband's useless nipple self was upstairs enjoyin...

Today is Sept 27, 2018. A year ago today I was off from work, attending what was supposed to be a routine 37 wk prenatal visit. A year ago today I thought everything was going pretty well. I was still keeping up at work, I had just done the St. Jude Walk, baby shower had been a huge success, and I has big plans to throw myself in full nesting mode the next week. I felt great, heartburn aside. A year ago today I got a phone call from one of my attending OBGYN's to report back to Holy Cross Hospital, and go straight to labor and delivery. I was getting induced in less than 48 hours. How did this happen? Let's back up two weeks prior. After getting the phone call At 35  weeks my OB's recommended that I get an ultrasound with the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist downstairs. At this point, don't get me lying why I had been recommended. Nuggets heart rate was fine, my blood pressure was healthy and low, as it had been my whole pregnancy. Maybe it was because my...

Authors Note : I wrote this post over a week ago. I sat on it, started writing a completely different and unrelated post because I initially felt this was just too silly and nobody would take me seriously, or worse yet, further agree that my feelings were ridiculous and be dismissive. However after rereading my own words I felt a therapeutic release to get my feelings and thoughts out to the world (and I'm sure my therapist would agree.) There is absolutely another mom out there who thinks like I did, a simple Google search of "my baby is ____ months old and still not____" or "my baby is doing xyz, is this normal?" shows this. We all want the best for our babies, and I want moms to know that  YOUR BABY IS FINE, 99% of the time. If you have serious concerns that something IS NOT right with your baby, or they are not meeting milestones at all/ well after their peers, please consult your pediatrician or reach out to your state/ county Early Intervention Progra...